I Choose Joy. 

“And Martha said, ‘Honey. It’s true that God teaches us through pain. But it is also true that God tries to teach us through joy first. You can keep choosing heartbreak and pain, Glennon. But you can also choose joy. God can use that choice too. And I actually believe that God prefers to use joy to teach us.’ And so, for once, I’m choosing joy.

I have lived a long while learning from pain and God, it’s been a good teacher. I’m forty one, now. And I’m graduating to joy.
I choose joy. You can too. First the pain. Then the rising. Your courage is bigger than your fear.” ~Glennon Doyle

The God that Glennon believes in exists in the trees for me. It exists in the dirt, the sky, and the sun. For me it is the beautiful ebb and flow of our planet. Nature is my teacher.

On Sunday I found myself immersed in conversation on my favorite trails with three of my favorite friends. The trails are my church, so it’s fitting that awareness to my growth was presented to me while trail running. As we were making our way up one of my favorite climbs in the park, Tasha, my high school friend and now team mate and great friend, called me out for hiding.

“I read your blog post. I thought to myself here it comes. Kristy’s big announcement. And then I read, and I read. It was buried! You barely announced it.”

Thank you Tasha for shining your light

On Saturday morning I ran with Team in Training teammates. As we finished up a run, my new running partner asked me what I do for a living. I stumbled over my words. It was hard for me to say out loud I work for J&A Racing. My neighbor stopped me on Saturday after she read my blog, and she shared the same thing that Tasha shared. She read it several times making sure she was reading what she thought I was saying.

Buried in my blog post about overcoming heartache and unfilled goals, I announced very quietly that I am the Director of Communications for J&A Racing.

Joy is hard for me. I try to live in a constant state of gratitude but somehow along the way, I’ve come to expect not quite hitting my goal or getting what I want. I take pride in rolling with the punches and making the best of all my scenarios. I am proud of the fact that I can find a silver lining in everything I do.

But joy – choosing joy, welcoming joy, this is where I get stuck. This is when I can’t find words to announce my excitement properly.

I’m walking into this next chapter confident. I feel like I did on the day Christian and I drove through Utah heading to our honeymoon destination. I see the mountains and their greatness for the first time. The air is clean. The world is vast. There is a magnitude to this adventure. And I’m speechless. Based on portion and perspective, I’m small in this big world, but I know that I’m meant to be here.


This time I’m not standing back admiring the mountains from afar. I’m on the mountain. In order to feel all my joy and excitement, I have to release it. I have to allow it to echo off the world around me, so it can come back to me and flood me with joy.

This journey chose me. I choose this journey.

I choose joy.

Next Monday I will proudly join the J&A Racing team as the Director of Communications. 

Zion National Park

I can be a Dreamer 

Earlier this week I found myself scrolling facebook. I was full of energy, nerves, anxiety, excitement, and anticipation. Unsure what to do with this overwhelming energy, I stared blindly at my phone. My own name jumped off the screen.

“I can be a mother and a wife. I can be a dreamer” ~Kristy at Breath of Sunshine.

Three years ago Nicole from My Fit Family, a woman whose words and running I admire whole heartedly, quoted my blog. Every now and then she reshares her post with my words attached. This week she unknowingly reminded me of how grateful I am for my journey.

If you’ve been following along, you know my story. Three years ago I found myself sad and heartbroken over an unexpected “No” in my life. I was rejected from my dream job. Words are how I process life. They are how I think and feel. They are my logic. When big things happen, I use my words to navigate the space. The blog that Nicole quoted was my way of healing.

If you would have told me on February 24, 2014, the day I wrote that blog post, I’d ended up getting that job 3 months later, I would have never believed you.

If you would have told me one year later, I’d find myself in Peru living out a lifelong dream, I would have never believed you.

If you would have told me another year later, I’d have my heart broken again by that dream job, I would have never believed you.

I would have never believed you. None of it felt possible on that day when I questioned all of my dreams because I received a “no”. I didn’t believe any of this would be part of my story.

I also would have never believed that next Friday, June 9th I’d walk away from a job I truly enjoy to explore a new dream. I would have never believed I’d be starting a new chapter with the two people I found on top of Machu Picchu Mountain in that life changing trip in Peru. I would have never believed that my passions would collide, and I’d be given the opportunity to combine words with running.  I would have never believed I’d be joining a team that already feels like family.

I promised myself on February 24, 2014 that I’d never stop dreaming. I promised myself I’d embrace every “no” as a “yes” to something unexpected.

If my journey has taught me anything, it’s that the only way to live my life is to commit with my heart and trust the outcome. It’s okay to feel unprotected. It’s okay to leap. It’s okay to fall. It’s okay to fail. And now I’m learning it is also okay to succeed.

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Planting myself in something I love.

 

You have to be willing to let go of the expected to make room in your life in the unexpected. I shared my news with a sweet friend this week, and her response sent a shiver down my spine.

“Keep dreaming big. Life is even bigger than our dreaming.” ~Lucia Claire

Dream big. It’s words we hear all the time. It’s easy to dream big. It’s hard to let go of expectations of what those dreams should look like.

A piece of advice to myself when I find myself on the receiving end of a heartbreaking “no”:

It’s okay to aim for the top of the mountain. It’s okay to set out alone with nothing but a backpack and too much water. In fact,  the only way to get to where I’m meant to be is to climb my own mountain.

Don’t be afraid to climb the mountain by yourself. Keep pushing. Keep going. You have no idea what you’ll find at the top. If you hear someone calling your name at 12,000 feet above sea level in a forgeign country, turn around. Change your plans. Accept their invitation.

Machu Picchu Mountain

If  you hear someone calling your name while running down your favorite trail in your hometown, turn around. Change your plans. Accept their invitation.

Say yes! Embrace every no!

I am still having a hard time believing that on June 12th, I will start a new adventure with J&A Racing. I’m having a hard time absorbing my happiness and gratitude. Over the years I’ve become really good at finding my silver lining. This new chapter of life is already pushing me to welcome and trust that dreams come true.

As I step into this next chapter, I have to take everything I’ve learned from hearing “no” and apply it to hearing “yes”. It’s time to welcome living in a place of dreaming.

My last time running the Shamrock course! I can’t wait to be on the other side next year!

 

 

Home. Seven years later. 

This house became our home seven years ago this summer. I fell in love with the trees, the neighborhood, and the energy of the home. It was love at first sight.  We bought from the original owners. Built in 1960, a family was born and raised here. You could feel it the moment you walked in the front door. As we toured the house, I saw Cole running from his bedroom, down the stairs to a room filled with Christmas presents. I heard the laughter of children in the walls. I was very much in love. 

Our dreams were big when we moved in. The house needed (needs) love poured back into it. This home has poured its love into others, and it was (is) begging to be loved in return. We had a five year plan. We’d make it ours. 

Then life happened. Chet joined our family. Income shifted to daycare and new cars. Little by little we made some changes. A new bathroom, new furniture to create an office space for Christian, some new paint, yet the five year plan sat on the shelf. It gathered dust with all the untouched projects in our home. 

This morning I woke up, and I knew it was time.  Clouds filled the sky cancelling our pool plans. Instead we began what we always intended to do. First on the list was the removal of the family room’s built in shelves, gun cabinet and closet. Occuping the last three feet of our family room, it had overstayed its welcome. 

Starting somewhere
Demo began. Layer by layer we peeled back all the wood that was no longer serving our home or our family. We pried each nail out of the wall. We patched the holes. We laughed at everything we exposed (mint walls and mint speckled lineleum floors). Our room began to breathe. 

Next step: paint
Like all good life renovations, it’s never easy. It never ends quickly. One problem exposes another until you’re left with a clean slate and a solid structure to rebuild your existence. 

Tonight we are left with a room filled with clutter, half painted walls, missing carpet, and a brand new perspective of our home. The vision of what our home is meant to be is starting to take shape. 

As we purge, clean and carefully select everything we want this space to be, we will be living in the mess for a while. Transformation can’t be rushed. Change happens slowly. Little by little we are pouring love back into this home. 

Together this house and I are finding our room to breathe. 

Buried in our walls

Follow your Breath

“This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival” ~Rumi

Last Wednesday I unrolled my yoga mat with nearly 500 other yogis. Together we lined up with only inches to spare on the deck of the USS Wisconsin. The class was a celebration of endings and beginnings. The community of Norfolk is rich with culture. It is vibrant. It is alive. Part of that community is Bhav Brigade – a group of yoga instructors determined to make yoga accessible to everyone by eliminating barriers and bringing openness to each practice. This class was a farewell to one of their founders, but also a congratulations as she steps into the next chapter of her life.

Every time I unroll my yoga mat, I believe it’s an opportunity to welcome something new. It is a beginning. When I show up empty and open, I am always gifted with exactly what I need. This class was no different.

While the deck of the boat was filled with my friends, I found myself shoulder to shoulder with strangers. Before class even began, I knew this class belonged to me. As I sat on my mat staring over the river, I was flooded by the urge to shed: emotions, anxiety, and the weight on my body. Everything felt heavy.

📷: Shannon Wade
The yoga practice began, and my body resisted the movement. My head fought back as I tried to settle myself. Finally it happened. I arrived on my mat.

Prompted by the yoga instructor, I brought my attention to what I was holding on to? What are you holding on to? What of that is no longer serving you? As I took physical inventory, my body melted. My jaw relaxed. My shoulders dropped. My chest opened. I found the way into my practice.

📷: Peter Squicciarini

Just like the best runs, my physical existence always directly connects to my emotional existences. Moving my body always exposes every aspect of my life. My yoga practice is the same. When I relax my jaw, I relax my heart. When my shoulders drop, my breath deepens. When I settle into my yoga mat or my stride, I settle into my life.

Life has felt a little chaotic lately. The full moon brought with it full energy. My pace has been a little too fast to feel settled. I have found myself asking the same questions my yoga instructor asked me last Wednesday. What am I holding on to? What is no longer serving me?

rumiquote

Life is reminding me to slow down. It is reminding me to be intentional. It’s reminding me to take inventory of what I’m holding on to and what is serving me. Every morning, every time I unroll my yoga mat or I put on my running shoes, I have a choice. I can show up empty and open, I can welcome what arrives, or I can hold myself back.

Embracing the flow of life is my greatest struggle. I speed things up, I push too fast, and I forget to settle.

Today I took my practice to the trails. Tired is clinging to me. Instead of forcing the run, I listened. I slowed down. I walked. I enjoyed the views, the fresh air, and the dirt beneath my feet. Movement is movement. It doesn’t matter how fast or how far I go. Real growth in life comes from the moments when we let go and met ourselves where we are at in life. 


I am craving depth and light. Every part of me wants to shed the extra weight I’m carrying with me. I want openness. This is where I’m placing my priority this season. I know that summer can be a hard season for me. Heat can be restrictive. It makes it hard for me to breathe. I’m not fighting it this season. I’m welcoming it, and I’m giving myself the tools I need to remain open. 

Embracing the flow of life, existing without expectations, and following the path that allows me to breath deeply is the only direction I’m willing to head this summer. 

Settle.

When you release you’re intention into the world, it always comes back to you. I’ve been reminded of this over and over again. Release something, and the world rewards you. It challenges you, provides opportunities for practice, and rewards you.

Before my words go wandering down this path, let me be clear. I don’t believe the world is here to serve me. Nor do I believe all I have to do is ask for something to receive it. I don’t believe anyone or anything is responsible for the outcomes in my life but me. What I do believe is that when I chose to focus on something by setting intentions, I start to notice it more. I become observant of the world around me through my intentional practices. The lens I use to view the world changes. It provides purpose to my daily interactions.

Writing my intentions for the Coastal Delaware Half was my release. The moment my words took shape on paper they solidified their presences in my heart. Now I’m finding pieces of it scattered through out my life.

Last night was a full moon.

Last night I also happened to be the only person at home for the first time since possibly Chet was born.

When a popup full moon yoga class appeared on my newsfeed I knew I would attend. With the sounds of downtown Norfolk as a backdrop, with the full moon as a spot light, and with an amazing breeze off the river, I happily unrolled my yoga mat. 

I set my intention:

Settle

“Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and the stars mirrored in your being.” ~Rumi

After a tough tempo run, after rushing home to feed the dog and myself, and after rushing back to Norfolk for this yoga class, I knew I needed to settle into my mat. My energy felt frantic. As we moved through poses, I found myself looking outward instead of inward. I needed to settle within myself.

We moved through a series of poses that were new to me. The sequencing was fresh. After completing both the right and the left side, we were instructed to move through the sequence again on our own. Gracefully the teacher told us to let our intuition guide us. Our bodies would remember. For a moment I panicked. Settle. I don’t know the sequence. I looked outward. Settle. I closed my eyes. I focused on my breath and my body found the movement. It found the movement it needed.

And there it was. The reason I showed up for the yoga class. Toss your intentions into the world and look for opportunities to practice them.

I told my running coach I didn’t want a race plan. I asked for no guidance on race day. I want my body to guide me. I want the freedom of running by feel. I want to give my body what it needs on race day. In the full moon yoga class, I was given exactly that. For a moment I panicked. I wanted guidance. I looked outward instead of inward. Then I reminded myself to settle. I know I’ll need this reminder again on race day. 

When moving through life (or running a race or practicing yoga), to get to where you want to go you have to push beyond the panic. Fear paralyzes all progress. For me the only way to do that is to settle. I have to calm myself down. I have to relax. To find freedom in living and in running, I have to turn inward. I have to trust that my body knows the movement.

When all the fear and the panic settles, I’m left with nothing but the magic of my life.

Last nights yoga practice was the perfect reminder. My race in 10 days will be another chance to practice.


 

Let it be your Exclamation Point 

As the days have grown longer, running after work on Tuesdays and Thursdays has quickly become my new pattern. With daylight illuminating every new path, I have an endless amount of new ground to cover. Each week my runs have expanded. My normal 3 mile loop has grown into four or five or six miles. On my map, my reach has expanded. More sunshine has casted light on my confidence to explore.

Isn’t this how it always works? A new running route, a new adventure, or a new chapter of life can cause me to become timid. While navigating the new course, I’m cautious. Then the light creeps in. Comfort is discovered. Confidence grows. My circles expand.

This year has been all about recognizing the ripples in life. Circles are expanding. Some of them are literal circles like my running path at work. Others are as figurative as the expansion of energy rippling outward from my heart and lungs.

On Friday I sat across from my running coach. It’s two weeks until race day. Like all the other ripples in my life , our trust and understanding of each other has also expanded. He has known long before me what I need from my running. Today I’m trusting it too.

For some people, running is simply running. Race day is the day to put your game face on, turn off your emotion and compete. I wanted this. I wanted nothing more than to take my head and my heart out of the equation. I thought to compete I needed to silence the part of me that felt too much and thought too much. In order to perform at my best, I spent many years trying to simply perform. Give me a race plan. Let me execute it. I thought that was the winning strategy because for some it is. For some runners it works brilliantly. My running coach may have always know this doesn’t work for me.

Silencing the part of me that thinks too much and feels too much is like chopping of my legs. I was fighting myself instead of racing. I had lost before I even started. Feeling too much and thinking too much is my strength.

I left that meeting with a very simple race plan. Race day is my exclamation point. 

the only note taken during our meeting

Two Tuesdays ago I was supposed to run mile repeats: three of them, four if I was feeling on fire. My legs wanted nothing to do with it. They’d only run one pace, and that was easy. I finished my run a little deflated. I had some thinking to do. Did I want race day to be an attempt at a personal best or did I want to run easy? What did I need from the race?

All week I had dreams filled with memories that made me feel alive. I had dreams that kept connecting me to times where I felt uninhibited and free. When I close my eyes, breathe deeply, and recall life moments that take my breath away, there is always one that stands out the most. It wasn’t my wedding day or the day I birthed my boys. It’s a simple night in Austin, Texas. After sitting speechless on a staircase listening to Andrew McMahon play music on his piano, I walked out on to Sixth Street. Surrounded by friends, we raced. We ran down the streets chasing nothing but the feeling of being alive. Maybe it was Austin, maybe it was the music, maybe it was the brand new territory in my life, but that night I knew what magic felt like.Because I know better than to try to seperate my life from my running, I knew there was something hidden in my dreams.

That’s the one thing.

There’s no safety in desire.

Preserving life is as good as dying.

🎵Andrew McMahon, So Close

This ripple pattern that I’ve come to notice in my life, it expands or contracts based on me. So many times I feel myself shrinking and caving in. So many times in my life I’ve felt so close to achieving it, touching it, experiencing it, and I’ve shrunk back out of fear.

And these could be the best or the darkest days.

The lines we walk are paper thin

And we could pull this off or push away

🎵Andrew McMahon, So Close

My biggest challenge is in letting go. Once I find my edge, too many times I’ve retreated backwards. How many times have I cheated myself out of enjoying the free fall that comes once we embrace the edge? How many times have I not run down the street for no other reason than it feels good to run? Once you push beyond the panic, the magic of life is waiting. 

So close

So close to giving up

So close to going all the way

So close to taking off

So close to going no where

🎵Andrew McMahon, So Close

At the beginning of this training cycle, I drove to the oceanfront with Andrew McMahom playing in my car. His song So Close playing too loudly for 6am.

As I drove I thought to myself, running is the punctuation of my life.  It defines the content. It gives structure and shape to everything I do. 

On Friday as I told my running coach I didn’t want a race plan, that I wanted to run reckless, that I wanted to get so close and not give up out of fear.

I wanna go there.

I wanna go there.

🎵Andrew McMahon, So Close

With every thought, every feeling, I’m showing up in Delaware. There is no plan A, B or C. There is no pace to hit for each mile. There are no bullet points outlining the details of my plan. There is only an exclamation point – the one my coach drew on my notebook after I told him what I needed from this race.

His Response:

Let it be your exclamation point! 

Back Bay National Wildlife Refuge

 


Thank you 36. 

As a parent, I strive to be an example for my children. I want them to see me working hard. I want them to see me chasing a dream. I want them to know that if we want something, we have to work for it. So often the focus is on the end result. 

As I reflect on the last year of my life, I’m filled with gratitude. This has been the best year yet. This is the current of my life. It’s the vibration behind everything I do. I’m living my best right now. Thirty six has been so good to me, but it’s not because I’m focused on an end result. I’ve been focusing on each moment. 

Birthdays are perfect for reflection. While today I’m convinced I’m exactly where I’m meant to be, the truth is this year was hard. Having walked away from a “dream job” just before my 36th birthday, I questioned everything. I doubted myself, my strength, and my ability. The year started in pieces. Each fragment unsure where it belonged. The summer was dark. I was hot and stuck

Each day I continued on. I kept honoring myself. I made my way. Each moment and each step of the way created opportunities to write my own story. 

Today as the sunset I stood beside the river with my boys. Helping Cole work through disappointment of his own, I found myself telling him to keep working, to keep striving, and he’ll find his success. But is that the message I really want to teach my child. I stopped myself. I started over. 

This time I told him it’s okay to feel disappointed. That disappointment will turn into other feelings too. That’s okay, and it’s important to feel them all. It’s also important to keep moving forward. It’s important to keep making a path. That might be a dream to chase or a goal to hit. While those dreams and goals help us bloom, it’s the process of chasing them that fulfills us. Disappointment is just another chance to reevaluate what we really want. 

Thirty six was my year of reevaluating. It was a year of prioritizing. In all it’s ugly messy middle, it was magical. 

I’ve quit assuming what the next year will deliver. Instead I’m learning to celebrate it all. 

Thirty seven: lets do this! I’ve got a lot of life to bring you. 

The sun sets on 36!

Voice

When I started this blog, it scared me. There have been so many posts that I have sent to friends for validation before hitting publish. As my blog has grown, so has my voice. My confidence followed. This space has become safe. It has become my comfort.

Almost too safe. Almost too comfortable.

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I’ve hidden behind my written words, and when it comes time to speak, I feel the same fear I used to feel before I hit publish.

Expressing myself outloud is hard. My friend Amy stated it best. The words get stuck somewhere between my heart and my mouth. When I write, my heart comes out of my fingers but when I speak, it gets stuck.

Last Tuesday I had no other choice but to speak.

Every season our training team gets together to celebrate the spirit of running and life. Running Reflections instantly became a highlight for me last season as I listened to four powerful teammates share their stories of overcoming life. That night I was gifted with a mindset for race day and life.

This season I was asked to speak.

Although I enthusiastically said yes to speaking inside I held tightly to nerves and doubts. What story should I tell? What story is worthy of sharing? Because my heart now speaks through my fingers, I sat down to write. As I explored my doubts, I found the beauty in my story.

“When we deny the story, it defines us. When we own the story, we can write a brave new ending.” ~ Brené Brown

My greatest fear on Tuesday night was that when my words left my body through my mouth instead of my fingertips, I’d feel weak. I’d loose control. I was afraid that if I let my story become unstuck from my heart, I’d be forced to face things all over again. Was I really living the silver lining of my story?

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As I stood in front of over 100 teammates to share my story, my voice trembled. My nerves came spilling out, and it was okay. Staring back at me was a room full of people who were cheering me on. Through a few trembling sentences, I let the nerves leave my body. Once those nerves left, something magical happened. I relaxed. I felt confident. Over the course of fifteen minutes, I felt myself transforming. I felt light.

It wasn’t a huge transformation. It wasn’t anything I can pinpoint or define. It was just a simple subtle shift of thought. It was a weight off my tired body. It was the next step in my journey.

By the time I finished speaking, I fell in love with my story.

“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.” ~ Brené Brown

I watched the Facebook Live video of my talk the next day. (It was shared privately with our group, so no I can’t share it). Once again I expected to feel something: regret for parts I left out, embarrassment over my numerous hand gestures, etc.

By the time I finished listening, I fell in love with myself. The tiniest of tiny of shift that took place between the start and the finish of my talk made me feel proud.

I did it.

I quit chasing something that night. Instead of wanting to be, that night after the nerves left my body, I just was.

In that moment, in a room filled with so many loving faces, I knew without a doubt that this was, this is, my life to live. The good, the bad, the ugly, the amazing, the loving, and the simple day to day, I am grateful for every breath of it.

The Year of Waking Up

Every season of life I gravitate towards a new word. I’ve lived them all. Let it go. Rooted. Breathing room. Thrive.  I am strong. And so many more. More often than not my seasons of life are attached to a training cycle. 

Running imitates life. 

Life imitates running. 

As I welcomed the new year, I also welcome a new training cycle. The goals are the same, but I knew I needed a mental change. Chasing sub 2 hours in the half marathon has grown stale. Three years of the same goal supported by a ton of mental growth and maturity (but no PRs) makes the goal less exciting. I’m not chasing numbers anymore. I’m chasing feelings. 

I know when I’ve run a strong race. I don’t need a time clock to validate my effort, but I’d be lying if I said I’m not frustrated with not pushing my potential. 

Now is the time to layer back in consistent training. Now is the time to layer back in the drive and motivation to make my training plan work. I’m notorious for hitting snooze instead of waking up long before sunrise. When I get home from work, life happens. Homework. Dinner. Family. 

I’ve come to recognize the gaps in my training, and while discussing it with my coach this week I mentioned that I needed to find the spark that would get me out of bed in the morning. I needed my word. 

No sooner then I set out to find it, it found me too. In fact I’d argue that I already had it. 

“Awakening is not a thing. It is not a goal, not a concept. It is not something to be attained. It is a metamorphosis. If the caterpillar thinks about the butterfly it is to become, saying ‘And then I shall have wings and antennae,’ there will never be a butterfly. The caterpillar must accept its own disappearance in its transformation. When the marvelous butterfly takes wing, nothing of the caterpillar remains.” ~Alejandro Jodorowsky

All I need to do is wake up and just be. 

As a dream chaser this concept can be hard. Just be. Just wake up and run. Don’t focus on a goal. Just run the day I’m given. It is all I need to do to succeed. 

As a working mom sometimes the hardest thing for me to do is to be 100% committed to a training plan. There are philosophies and approaches that work for everyone in every stage of life. It’s never one size fits all. There is also a difference between making excuse and prioritizing life appropriately. It’s all a delicate balance. 

This year my goal is to make sure I’m throwing my rock in the right direction which means I need to find the right space for my running. If I’m going to push my potential, it’s time to quit hitting snooze on my alarm and on my running. It’s time to wake up. 

#trainjanda. My support system.

Why does this even matter? 

Because running imitates life. 

Life imitates running. 

Waking up is so much more than doing mile repeats in the dark. Waking up is an enhanced form of living. It’s mothering with an awake heart. It’s loving with an awake heart. It’s living with my eyes open. 

“Once the soul awakens, the search begins and you can never go back. From then on, you are inflamed with a special longing that will never again let you linger in the lowlands of complacency and partial fulfillment. The eternal makes you urgent. You are loath to let compromise or the threat of danger hold you back from striving toward the summit of fulfillment.” ~John O’Donohue

Welcome to my year of waking up. 

Sea Isle, NJ with my girls