This year has been a whirlwind. It’s been punctuated by some really high highs and some really low lows. Somewhere in the middle of it all, life got messy. I’ve felt out of balance for a while now, a bit overwhelmed and unravelled. I’ve learned that when these things start to happen, you do the best you can do at the moment, you tuck your head, and you just keep moving forward. The storm will pass over. My only goal lately has been forward progress.
This weekend it hit me over the head. I am tired of always hanging on. I’m tired of constantly making things work. Scrambling to hold it together is exhausting.
All year I’ve been craving simplicity: mountain vacation without cell phones or television, family movie nights, runs without a purpose. I’m stressed and overwhelmed by the amount of stuff in both our house and in my life. It’s all just too much. I woke up Friday morning, and I just wanted to get rid of everything. I wanted to remove everything from our home and life, and I wanted a fresh start.
All of this combined with some difficult transitions for both Cole and Chet (into the toddler world and early teenage years), made me realize that is exactly what I need to do. I don’t need to duck my head and keep moving forward, I need to put up an umbrella and take a step back.
2014 is about simplicity. It is about shedding layers. It is about getting back to the root of everything I love. Once the root of me is thriving again, I can add back the details I am missing.
While all these thoughts processed in my head, I knew I couldn’t tiptoe around how I was feeling anymore. Just making it work wasn’t good enough anymore. I have to take one giant step back. I need to lighten my load before I continue.
Back a step #1 – I transferred to the shamrock half marathon. This was a no brainer. It’s been a month of little sleep in our house, and I am exhausted. My head and my heart aren’t up for a marathon right now.
Back a step #2 – This one was hard. I cried more than a few tears. I’m taking a break from working with my running coach. Now I adore my coach and walking away was hard. Very hard. He has given me a confidence in myself that is priceless. I just need simplicity. I do not want my focus to be all about running. I still plan on running. I still plan on following a plan. I just need to get back to the root of why I run. I want to let my body absorb the progress it has made this year, so I can come back even stronger when I’m ready for the next marathon.
Back a step #3 – I’d like to date my husband again. I’ve missed our relationship this year. There is nothing bad going on in our relationship, I’d just like to give it some more attention.
Back a step #4 – We’ve been lazy about our eating. When you are just getting by with making life work, it’s easy to get off track. Our eating hasn’t been horrible, but we can (and we have) done better.
Back a step #5 – I’m doing a serious house purge. Need or want is going to be big discussion over the piles of toys and other things we collected along the way. How did we live in a 700 square foot house 4 years ago? Where the heck did all this stuff come from? Christian and I don’t even like shopping.
Simplicity. Nurturing. Getting back to roots. Loving. All themes for life in 2014. I hoping this is the year for balance.