Everything I thought…I thought wrong.

One year ago today, shortly after I tucked Cole in bed, I went to the bathroom with a pregnancy test knowing it would be negative. The negative pregnancy test would result in getting my period that night. I could then start tracking my period so Christian and I could get to work on having a baby.

When I went to the bathroom that night, I thought I’d see a negative sign.  I thought wrong.

A positive sign showed up before I could even wipe. Christian and I were having a baby. We were so incredibly lucky. I had just gone off the pill the month before. I should have known on that night that everything I thought would happen would turn out completely different.

We are having a Baby!

I thought I wasn’t pregnant. I thought wrong.

I thought there was no way I would get pregnant the first month I went off the pill. I thought wrong.

I thought I would struggle physically and emotionally with pregnancy. I thought wrong.

I thought I was having a girl. I thought wrong.

I thought I would have my baby without any medical intervention. I thought wrong (dumb pitocin!).

I thought I’d have my baby when he was ready (before he due date like his brother). I thought wrong.

I never thought I would carry my baby for nearly 42 weeks and that he would be induced. I thought wrong.

I thought I’d have an easy-going, laid back newborn. I thought wrong.

I thought breast-feeding would be easy (because it was with Cole). I thought wrong.

I thought I’d have my baby on a routine that worked for me. I thought wrong.

I thought I’d bounce back quicker. I thought my pre-pregnancy clothes would fit when I went back to work. I thought I’d run faster and further. I thought wrong.

I thought I’d enjoy another year of not having a period because I’m breast-feeding. I thought wrong.

I thought it would be easier the second time around. I thought wrong.

I may have got a few (or maybe a lot) of the details wrong when I predicted how my pregnancy and my life with a newborn would play out. But for all the things I thought wrongly about, I was equally surprised by all the things I actually knew.

I knew when I smiled at my baby, my heart skipped a beat. While my heart isn’t actually skipping a beat,  its synchronizing it’s beating with my babies heart beat. By simply smiling, our hearts become in tune.  I knew the moment I held my baby in my arms, he was exactly where he belongs.  I knew our family would feel complete and connected thanks to our new bundle of joy. I knew Cole would flourish and thrive as a big brother. I knew my husband would be an amazing father. I knew I would love being his mother.

I knew our life would be better, but I had no idea how head over heals in love with our little baby we would all fall. In one year, we have gone from a positive sign on a little stick to a happy smiling rolly polly of a baby.  Life is good!

Mid-Roll
Oh how I love this baby!
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4 thoughts on “Everything I thought…I thought wrong.

  1. How have I missed your last few posts! This one is awesome! It’s so easy to get caught up in what we think we know. It’s cool to see your perspective on motherhood the second time around. It’s so in tune with everything I have thought and then had to rethink!

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