Run until you Feel Better

Cold Day at the Beach means Chet can wear his hat

It’s been a rough weekend for me. Lack of sleep and over flowing emotions haven’t done me any favors. Chet has to be going through a growth spurt (please let it be a growth spurt and not a new pattern to his days). He’s eating almost every hour when he is awake. He has been getting one good 4 hour stretch of sleep at night followed by feedings every hour and a half. My milk supply is on overflow.

Take a tired mama and add in the a reality check that I have 2 weeks left of maternity leave and you have a recipe guaranteed to produce a lot of tears. I’m trying hard to not let my sadness about going back to work ruin our last two weeks together, but it caught up to me this morning. I couldn’t stop the tears. While Christian attempted (again and again) to get Chet to like a bottle, I couldn’t stop the tears. After nursing my baby, blowing my nose, and taking a few good inhales and exhales, Christian encouraged me to go running. I reluctantly put on my shoes and headed out in the rain.

Today’s running plan: run until my head and heart felt better

I ran my normal 2.5 mile loop. It was a disaster. I cried. A lot. I didn’t feel like running. I wanted to go home, sit on my couch, snuggle my baby, and cry. I ran some. I walked a little. After 2 miles, I decided to give up and head home.

When I walked in my front door, the dog was sitting next to his leash begging to go with me. Chet was sleeping with Christian. I still didn’t feel better, and I certainly wasn’t needed at home. I headed back out to run some more with the dog in tow.

I ran an additional 3 miles this time. The tears disappeared. I found a peaceful place in my run. Although my pace was nearly the same as the first run, the last 3 miles felt so much better. My mental strength started to return.

I don’t think I’ll ever get to a point where my heart doesn’t feel like its breaking as I get closer to returning to work, but I have to find peace with our reality. I have to work. I have to figure out how to be a working mom again and to survive the heartbreak. I need to keep going until my head and my heart start to feel better.

Going back to work will be, without a doubt, one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.

Cute Baby. Silly Face.

Today’s Runs. I used both my Garmin and Endomondo. Pick which ever one you like best! I’m not sure which one is more accurate. (No running photos thanks to the down pour I ran in today.)

Garmin

Mile 1: 12:21

Mile 2:  13:06

Mile 3:  13:12

Mile 4: 12:31

Mile 5: 12:51

Total: 5.4 miles @ a pace of 12:38 (note to self: turn off watch when you get home)

Endomondo

Run Take 1:

Mile 1: 11:39

Mile 2: 12:44

Total: 2.62 miles @ a pace of 12:32

Run Take 2:

Mile 1: 12:48

Mile 2: 12:24

Mile 3: 12:17

Total: 3.06 miles @ a pace of 12:28

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2 thoughts on “Run until you Feel Better

  1. Hey Kristy-I am so right there with you with being a working mom, and agree it is the hardest thing we’ll ever have to do. The only thing I can tell you is that it does get easier with time. I found it easier to go back after the second but I had mine a lot close together the concept was fresh in my mind. I know you’ll get through it because you are a strong momma! Go ahead and cry and don’t feel bad about it. Just remember that being a working mom is hard for US not them. Your little cutie will be snuggled, loved, taken care of, and played with all day while you work. He’ll be fine :o) Enjoy your last two weeks. Hugs.

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