Life is busy. Pre-pregnancy life was busy. Adding another baby to mix will inevitably make it more busy. On the flip side of that coin, life is pretty amazing. My life, our life, before the baby is my dream come true. Adding a baby to the mix makes me giddy. I’m already head over heels in love. This baby makes me love Christian, Cole and life even more than I thought possible. It’s a whole new chapter in life that I didn’t know existed.
If you know me or have been reading my blog for longer than a few days, you probably know a few things about me. I like to be organized. I’m slightly a control freak when it comes to life and planning. I live for balance. I strive for balance on a daily basis. Although my type-A personality is my dominate side, the side that makes me feel alive is the part of me that could sit amongst the trees for days on end. I can’t enjoy the simple things in life, the things that truly make me happy down to my toes, if I let my control freak planning self take over.
There are three stressers that somehow always surface in my life: money, my dislike of my job, and my messy house. My type-A personality thrives on these three things. I have spread sheets and to-do lists to keep it all in order. My hippy, nature loving side is suffocated by them. If I’m stressed out, I guarantee that one of those three things is the root of my problem.
Today was one of those days I felt the stress taking over. I began to focus less on the things that make me happy and more on the things that stress me out. The root of my stress: work. I’m not in love with my job. It’s not challenging. I’m not providing a service to anyone that enhances quality of life. I work with some lack-luster people. While my work schedule is normally very mild, the past few weeks it has been intense. I have so much going on. I should be in 3 places at the same time Monday through Friday. Add this to my busy home life, and I can start to feel overwhelmed. Bring on my type-A personality. I don’t like unfinished to-do lists. I don’t like having things hang over my head. I don’t like being the only person at work who seems to care about the quality of my performance. I care too much to not care. As I was driving around today checking on contractors (thinking of all the other places I needed to be at the same time), I made myself stop for 5 minutes. I was at the oceanfront. I could smell the salt air. I deserve 5 minutes in my day to take in the beauty of the ocean when it is less than 20 feet from me. I need those 5 minutes to keep my life in balance.
As I walked to the ocean, I could hear the waves. The breeze was refreshing. I love the smell of the salt-water. My skin felt alive. The skies in front of me were blue and beautiful. There wasn’t a soul on the beach. It was just me and the ocean. Ahhhh………….instant reminder of all that is good.
The entire time I was walking down to the beach I was looking to the northeast. As soon as I got to the end of the walk, I turned my head to the northwest. It was a completely different beach. The blue skies were nowhere to be seen. Black clouds were threatening the shore. Rain was on its way.
Life. Nature. I believe they are both mirror images of each other. Life mimics nature. The same life lessons we need to learn can be found in nature every day. If I walked down to beach facing the southeast, I would have thought it was going to be a yucky day. I would have stared straight into the rain clouds. I might not have ventured down the path to look at the ocean. Instead I saw the blue skies and a welcoming ocean. This was the lesson I need to be reminded of today.
Life is like my 2 minute walk to the beach. Dark clouds will always lingering. It is inevitable that it will rain. But blue skies and welcoming surf are always just a turn of the head away. I can sit and focus on the dark clouds in my life – money, work situations, and a messy house – or I can turn my head. I can focus on the positive. I can deal with the rain. I can accept that it might storm for a while. It might even storm longer than I’d like. Living in these moments aren’t so bad when I know that blue skies are in the direction I’m moving. If I keep walking with my face towards the sun (even when I can’t see it), I know I will feel its warmth when there are black clouds over my head.
These moments, in days like today, make my hippy heart happy! They keep my type-A personality in check. They keep me moving towards the sun. I’m so glad I took 5 minutes for myself today.