Four days until I run my half-marathon. I will be 23 weeks and 6 days pregnant. How did I get to be nearly 6 months pregnant already? How did it become time to run this half-marathon I’ve been talking about forever? Both my December 27th due date and the 13.1 mile marker are creeping up on me.
You all know the training I’ve done for the race – the obstacles and the victories – because I feel like I’ve done nothing but talk about them since May. It’s sad to feel like something is coming to a close while at the same time celebrating a huge accomplishment. I have to keep reminding myself that once the race has come and gone, my running days aren’t over. I know it will be harder to talk myself into a long run bright and early on a weekend mornings when I’m not training for a particular race. I also know that once I’m out the door, I’d rather run 10 miles instead of 3. I love the longer distances. I’m uncomfortable and miserable for about the 3 miles of every run (pregnant or not). Some days I feel like I could just keep going forever. Just because I’m not training, it doesn’t mean I have to let go of having a plan (yes! I have to keep reminding myself of this over and over and over again).
Just because I’m not training, it doesn’t mean I have to let go of having a plan. In case you didn’t pick up on it, I like having a plan. I like knowing what is next. I like feeling like I have control over at least the planning portion of everything I do. Even though I’m still 4 days away from my race, I’m already thinking about what comes next. (Yes! I know! Have a baby!) I have already signed up for the Race for the Cure 5k on October 15th and the Wicked 10k on October 29th. I really had no intention of running them when I registered. I run Race for the Cure for my Aunt who continues to inspire me with her bravery and strength as she battles breast cancer. I signed up for the Wicked 10k because what pregnant lady doesn’t want to run a 10k in a fun Halloween costume when she is in her third trimester. Post-baby running plans are also floating around in my head. A marathon next year is definitely on the list.
While it is easy to plan for post-baby races, it is hard for me to plan for running post half-marathon. I think it might be time for me to come to terms with the one day at a time approach when it comes to running. I’ll plan for a long run on the weekends and easy 2-3 mile runs during the week. I’ll run until my body decides to tell me it has had enough. As I’m writing this, I’m realizing that is exactly what I’ve been doing all along with the half-marathon training. Maybe, just maybe, I can be good at taking it one day at time.
I’m also quietly scared that something is going to happen in the next 4 days that will cause me to not finish my half-marathon. It might be left over fears and intimidation from my stress-fracture/marathon not so happy ending. It is also a result of knowing that pregnancy changes every single day. My body never feels the same from one day to the next. My lower back has also been giving me some issues. I ran 2.5 miles on Monday night, and it was not a good run. Even though I’ve been running for long enough to know that some days are good and other days are bad, it is still causing some uneasiness in my confidence. My legs were stiff. My lower back ached. There were factors on the run that won’t exist during my race – I won’t have a VERY HYPER dog with me. I won’t forget my iPod at home. I know that it was just one run in several months of training. It is in no way a reflect of how I will feel on race day.
I’m also believe in the magic of race day. Aches and pains tend to disappear. Knowing that my family and lots of other spectators will be cheering me on gives me an extra boost of energy.
I know pre-race day jitters are normal. It’s just hard for me to separate race day jitters from pregnancy jitters.
I know everything will just be fine. I know I will have my race on race day. I know my delivery date will come, and I’ll have the delivery I’m supposed to have.
One day at a time (with a plan to take it one day at time).