Today I start my 20th week of pregnancy. Just about half way there. Wow! What a journey so far. I’ve gone from holding my breath for the first trimester from fear that something might go wrong to holding my breath at week 20 because my back hurts, my hips hurt, and every now and then Maute Moo plays bumper cars with whatever organ in crammed into the lower left side of my stomach area.
I fully admit that I over plan, over think, over analyze most things in life. Pregnancy (and preparing for baby and child-birth) definitely makes it to that list of things.
When I had Cole, I read all the baby books. I followed all the doctors orders. I took notes during my doctor’s appointment. I did what I thought everyone did because I thought that is how everyone did it. This pregnancy is different. Seven years later, I haven’t picked up one pregnancy book. Instead of focusing on all the things that might go wrong, I’m spending my time thinking about nursery details, birthing plans, breast-feeding. cloth diapers, and homemade baby food.
I don’t know which one is better – going into pregnancy, child-birth and parenting with a plan that was generated in a book or trying desperately to come up with a plan that feels perfect for me. Either way I have to come to terms with the fact that it is just a plan. The next 20 weeks of my pregnancy will go according to my baby and my body’s plan. Labor and child-birth will go according to my baby and my body’s plan. Parenting will go according to my plan – I hope!
Here is what I do know so far – I want our baby to be welcomed into a peaceful world (read more about my thoughts here). I want to bring our baby to a home that is loving, encouraging, and full of wonder. I want the nursery to have balance (read more here). I want to breast feed. I want to use cloth diapers. I want to make our own baby food from our own garden.
For now, at least for the rest of the night, my plan is to enjoy the tiny flutters inside my stomach while I search for blogs on natural parenting. Maybe blogs have become my new baby books.
For all my pregnant readers/parents who are interested in similar things, I found a great blog tonight. Mama and Baby Love.
So much to think about! I am so lucky that I’m able to make these decisions for another life!