Embrace where you are

Cole copying how Alex is sitting on the steps

After the high I felt yesterday after my job interview, it was incredibly hard to make the commute this morning to my current job that lacks the energy and sense of satisfaction I felt during my interview. But sometimes we have to deal with reality as it is today, not as what we want it to be in the future.  While I don’t like my job, it gives me freedom to create my own schedule. It allows me to put Cole on the bus in the mornings. It gives me time to read my favorite blogs. My reality today is that I am working in this current job, and sometimes you just have to embrace what you have right now. While I’m waiting for my right job, I need to embrace this job. I need to quit focusing on the negatives. I need to remind myself that this job pays my bills, is stress-free (mostly!), allows me to work with some really nice people, and never spills over into my personal life. I definitely value all of those qualities.

When I got to work today, I took a few minutes for myself and looked over my training plan. It’s hanging on the wall right beside my computer.  The idea of hanging it beside my computer was so I would look at it daily. It also serves as a daily reminder to run.  Well, I wasn’t looking at it close enough.  In my last post about running I mentioned that I was sick of running in time increments.  Guess what? This week I don’t have to anymore! I’m up to running 1 mile, 1.5 miles, and 2 miles this week.  YAY!  How did I miss that! I was so caught up in the pattern of running times, I just assumed I would go to a 5:1 ratio.

Taking his first steps into the pool

Newly reenergized by my discovery, I headed out on my run (Not Run/Walk!). 1 mile. I have to be honest. I wasn’t feeling confident going into the run.  After my last run, I really wanted to walk after 4 minutes. When I hit the 4 minute mark, I took a deep breath and reminded myself that 3 months ago I was running up to 18 miles. It is just 1 mile. My body knows what to do. My stress fracture is healed. I do not have any pain in my femur. I set visual markers along the road where I was allowed to look at my watch, and I just kept going. And I did it. I ran 1 mile, and it felt great! Friday’s run is 1.5 miles, and Sunday’s run is 2 miles.  After that it’s time to start training again for a race.

When Christian and I talked babies before in the past, I knew I wanted to run a full marathon before we had one of our own. The plan was to go off of the pill after the Shamrock Marathon.  As you all know, my body had different plans. I was injured weeks before the race. So that left baby plans up in the air.  We ended up deciding to try anyways.  There will always be marathons, and my body is constantly aging in terms of baby making.    Even though I’m pregnant, I plan on running through my pregnancy as much a I can. I’ve discussed both my training plan and my injury with my OB/GYN. She has no concerns about either.

Here is my new revised baby training plan:

Rock n Roll Half Marathon – Labor Day Weekend (24 weeks pregnant)

Wicked 10k – October (big and pregnant, I’m sure I’ll be just walking by then! But I get to find a great preggo costume)

Shamrock 8k or Half – March 2012 (3 months post baby) I really want the half!

Cox Rhode Island Marathon – May 1, 2012 – First Marathon. First Post Baby Marathon.

I’m a planner. I need to have milestones to aim for with my running. I also need to hold on to the parts of me that I love so that I stay sane through my pregnancy (hormones can get the best of me!). I also need to know that I will still be me after I have the baby. Running gives me that.  After I had Cole, I suffered from postpartum depression. I’m sure some of it had to do with my life situation.  I don’t want to have those feelings this time around. I know sometimes postpartum depression can’t be stopped, but I can do my part to keep myself whole and healthy. I owe that to myself, to my baby, and to my family.

I am embracing my life as it is today. I’m a happy pregnant mama. I have a job that allows me freedom. I ran 1 mile.  I have a race plan for after baby comes. And I have one amazing family.

(and thank goodness for in-laws with a pool who live 4 miles down the road on 100 degree days – they even allow us to bring our crazy dog. Alex went swimming for the first time tonight.  Summertime bliss!)

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