These are the words I’m choosing to live by….
This week I’ve been on the receiving end of a wonderful gift. Someone reached out to me. Someone who according to the dots that connect us in this world should probably not be my friend. She called me through tears as a way to reach out to someone who has been there. I was so touched by the phone call. I was so moved by the vulnerability in her voice. She wasn’t afraid to expose herself to me, a stranger. She wasn’t afraid to ask questions and absorb all that could be offered.
I have so much to learn. I could never do what she did – not yet anyways. I still haven’t mastered how to be completely exposed to the world. Remember my vulnerability issues during child-birth class? I’m still working on trusting support systems.
As Christian and I continue down this very emotional path, I’m realizing I need to be more like my new friend. I need to reach out when I need it. I need to be vulnerable so I can heal and grow. I need that vulnerability right now more than ever. It will bring me all the love I need. And I really need to be surrounded by love right now.
That same night I talked with my friend on the phone, I sat and watched this TEDtalk on vulnerability. So inspiring. So relevent. So true.
But there’s another way. [...] To let ourselves be seen; deeply seen, vulnerably seen. To love with our whole hearts, even though there’s no guarantee. [...] To practice gratitude and joy, in those moments of kind of terror, when we’re wondering, ‘Can I love you this much, can I believe in this this passionately, can I be this fierce about this?’ Just to be able to stop and [...] to say, ‘I’m just so grateful, because to feel this vulnerable means I’m alive.’ And the last, which I think is probably the most important: is to believe that we’re enough. ~ Brene Brown
These words left an imprint on my heart. A connection with a new friend left a lasting impression on my approach to the world. There are days I feel lost in tears and overwhelmed by the world. Those days I feel like I’m cracking. At the same time I feel like I’m cracking, I also feel like I’m about to spill over with excitement for where my life is headed. I feel so alive. I feel like light inside of me is starting to glow.
Maybe, just maybe, those cracks are what I need to let my light shine from the inside out.